Shedding Light on Asian Hate
In light of the social climate, I felt responsible to share my reflection as an Asian-American. For some, seeing videos and watching the news is enough to understand the treatment of AAPI in America. For others, learning about the personal experience of an AAPI individual is the only way for them to empathize. There is also the unfortunate crowd that would rather ignore the issue and remains ignorant, who will probably never read this article.
Early Experiences
Stereotypes, bullying, and discrimination. I’ve felt all of these as a child and well into my adult years. Whether it be jokes amongst friends or insulting comments targeting me as an AAPI. I’ve been looked down on by others who see me as another docile AAPI. Was part of this my fault? Yes. But like others, I’ve gained life experience and learned to speak up for myself.
This brings me to discuss my upbringing as an AAPI. My parents are immigrants from Vietnam, who have always worked hard. Their hard work was unselfishly dedicated to me having a better life than them. Their hard work was taken advantage of by employers who know that my parents will settle for the low wages — out of survival. Income inequality is a whole other issue that needs to be discussed. What I do know is that my parents did not discuss with me nor did they teach me how to react to racism.
I blame this partially on ignorance of the issue, and partially on a fear of the issue. Just work hard, succeed for yourself and your family. That is a lesson that weighed heavily in my household. This meant avoiding confrontation and to keep moving when conflict arises. Which led me to ignore the “chink”, “Chinese”, and “go back to your ching chong” comments. Did I feel upset? Yes. But I did not know how to self-regulate and respond assertively. My naive self did not understand the implications of letting these other individuals take shots at me and carry on with their discriminatory comments.
Identity Crisis
My parents not knowing what the world could offer me was difficult for them to educate me to explore myself. Their goal for me in life was to excel in school and define success with financial growth. This expectation left me little room to learn about myself. The AAPI community must learn to assimilate to life in American while maintaining their own cultural identity. This life experience is something I love because I’m learning to diversify myself and learned to appreciate different cultures. But it caused me confusion and affected how I made decisions in my life. Will listening to this American song cause my parents to criticize my taste? Will listening to this Vietnamese song on my bus ride home cause people to make fun of me? Will this guy I’m dating respect my traditions? Will my parents accept someone outside of our race? These questions clearly range from small choices to major life decisions.
Financial success and career status were not only an expectation from my parents but also from society. If I didn’t make something of myself then I’d be identified as “a bad Asian”. I’d often hear “A is for Asian” when discussing letter grades. With this ingrained in me, I found life tough to navigate as my own individual. I felt like a failure when I changed my major in college multiple times. TIME magazine discussed AAPI’s reputation of hard-working and being law-abiding citizens makes it easy to forget that Asian Hate exists. TIME beautifully states that “because the myth suggests upward mobility, it creates a fallacy that Asian Americans don’t experience struggle or racial discrimination”.
What’s so bad about the world expecting you to succeed? Well, if you don’t make something out of yourself then certain people will tell you “to get out of their country” or “get a job in your own country”. But even those who have earned their merit, will they even be given an opportunity to reach their full potential? I’ll wrap this point up by asking you, do these American companies envision an Asian person representing their company? But let me stop myself right here and rephrase this question. Do enough American companies trust a BIPOC to be the face of their organization?
My Experience and Opinions on Being Fetishized
Let’s touch on dating life and dig into the fetishization of AAPI women. We could probably all agree that dating is difficult. Questioning the racial motive of your date adds a different twist to it. Why is this white guy calling me his little Asian doll? Why can’t I just be beautiful? The forces of soldiers and American military presence normalized the hypersexualization of Asian women. Turning a woman from a war-torn country into a submissive, sexual object became an acceptable norm that is overlooked.
There are countless instances in which an older white man has approached me and opened up with the line “damn, you Asian girls are so beautiful” then they go into their experiences in Asia. This is how it goes, without fail. Sir, I am not your sex toy nor do I enjoy you ogling at me because of my ethnicity. This is creepy and the exact reason why the recent shooting in Atlanta is being excused by officials.
Authorities are writing this off as a young man who had a “bad day”. He was going through sex rehab, relapsed, and wanted to rid of his temptation. Let’s compare his situation. In grad school, I gained a good amount of weight because of stress and overeating. I remember having a “bad day” throughout my years of school. Never did I think to shoot the people in school who caused my stress, nor did I want to hurt the restaurants that offered these delicious meals. Maybe that was a bad comparison. How about people with nicotine addiction and can’t quit smoking? How many stores have been shot up because of their “bad day”?
The historical relationship of AAPI women and white America has been an abusive relationship that is overshadowed by the success of certain AAPI individuals. Just like abusive relationships, the victim is scared to ask for help and is expected to be silent because their abuser is supporting them. The AAPI community is silenced because we are expected to be grateful just for being in this country. So excuse me for calling bullshit on this guy’s “bad day”.
It’s Not Just Us
If you haven’t heard about the Black Lives Matter movement then I’m asking you to climb back into your shell, because I’d rather not know about your presence. If you support Trump’s former administration deporting and ripping families apart to rid of undocumented immigrants, then you should remember your ancestors were immigrants too (unless you’re Native American). Anyone who leaves their country for America is here in hopes of a better life. But is it just immigrants? You could do everything right as an individual and still be stripped of the opportunity to be comfortable in your own skin. You could be born in this country and still be told that you have no right to be here.
I’m taking this opportunity to point out that white people are not the only ones responsible for stereotyping, discrimination, and racism. I’ve been targeted by Black, Hispanic, and white people. I’ve also seen Asian people target other minority groups. My experiences have empowered me to stand for anti-racism. We have the responsibility for calling out white supremacy and its destructive behavior. No group of people should be hurt because of their background and skin color. I have fought against people I love for their racist acts. And I will continue to fight for myself, my AAPI community, and every community that endure hate for their skin color.